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Thursday, June 21, 2012

So close!!

Well, we are down to the wire now, folks!

Just got back from the doctor visit, we go back Tuesday for the ultrasound to make sure Rett and I look good.  Then, we will talk about scheduling his arrival probably for the end of next week.  Needless, to say, I'm scared out of my mind.  :)  And in all reality, I know it could happen before that but the unknown for me is almost better than the known.  I don't know.  Either way, we are going to be responsible for a real human in a little over a week.  The Lord sure does trust us.  Goodness!

My last post was all about things that I am ready for...well, I thought of some more...
    ~I'm ready to be able to wear my wedding rings again.
    ~I'm ready to not be so hot all the time.
    ~ I'm ready to not be so puffy (swollen).
    ~ I'm ready to help on the house.

These are just a few.  On the note of the house...it is coming along very nicely.  The Lord's time of Rett couldn't be any better.  He knew that if we had Rett any earlier, this house project would be put on the back burner so I am thankful for the extra time.  It is really starting to come together.  We have a hardwood guy coming tomorrow, the carpet guy coming to measure tomorrow, the bathrooms should be almost if not completely done tomorrow so the hope is to be moving in and having Rett all at the same time :)  Not really, Rett will come before the move probably.  We will just have to see how it all goes down.

Now, back to the reality of being responsible for a real human kid.  Every morning, I wake and thank the Lord that we made it through the night.  I don't know why the nights are so much harder than the days but I just always think of the "what if's" at night and get scared.  Which it shouldn't be any different than during the day but for some reason it is.  I guess maybe because I'm more aware during the day, I don't know.  O well, I can't say that the Lord hasn't had His hand on this whole pregnancy because He has even down to making sure my dad was in the country for his arrival.  I know that the Lord cares about Rett even in the womb and it has been so neat to see this whole process transpire.  I'm encouraged by the fact that I serve a God that loves and cares for me even when I am terrified.  He holds me when I am fretting in the middle of the night over the "what if's" and lets me know that everything is ok and will be ok.  I'm thankful for those promises.

In the Bible, "Do not be afraid" is repeated 365 times.  One for each day of the week...not a coincidence in my case.  I have needed each of those commands this whole process and even more so the last week knowing we were down to days/weeks.  And I know I will continue to claim these scriptures after Rett is here because then we have to make sure he's breathing and living.  I am clinging to the scriptures that tell me that the Lord is with me and will not leave me because I know I cannot do this alone.  So, I lean on His faithful love and Kraig's stable mind/heart and know that will will get through all of this.  So, although I am terrified of the upcoming weeks, I am excited and anxious to see the Lord continue to work through Kraig and me and through the life of our child.

It is going to be fun.


Monday, June 11, 2012

2 weeks out!

Well, as much as I thought Rett would be here by now, he's not.  Which is ok, just gives me time to work on washing his clothes and packing to move.  But I feel like a sitting duck...is that the old saying?  I don't know.  I just wait.  Kraig is staying busy at the new house so I should stay busy at the old house, right?  But I just want to sleep especially on rainy days.  But I am determined to get stuff accomplished today.  :)  Wish me luck.

The reality of having a kid ANYTIME now is really starting to sink in.  And the anxiety of when/where/how/what of it all is starting to get to me too.  Every random back ache or hurt, I think...is that the start of labor haha or is this it?  Is my water going to break now?  So, I'm pretty anxious.  It's funny, growing up playing ball - my coach/dad always said to always know your next play.  You have to know where you are taking the ball before it gets to you so that's been my prayer that past week or so.  I have asked and analyzed my "play."  So, I have a "play" for just about every scenario.  Especially with Kraig being at the new house for so many hours of the day.  I try not to go out in public alone either.  I am probably taking all of this to a new level but the last thing I want is to be at Target alone and my water break and I have to have the teenage store clerk help me to the hospital so I just avoid going by myself.  :) I have my jeep all packed up ready to go too.  We did that last week.  We are overly prepared just way behind.  But we will figure it out, TOGETHER.

Some other things I guess you could say that I am anxious or ready for is to fit into my clothes again.  I have moved into Kraig's clothes, and wearing the same things over and over.  I'm ready to wear my stuff again.  I am ready to see my feet again.  haha I know that sounds horrible but I am ready to hold our little guy and that means I will be able to see my feet.  I was sitting funny in the jeep last night and when it was time to get out, I couldn't.  Kraig had to come help me get straightened out so I could get out, so needless to say, I told him I was to be able to move like I used too.  I know all this won't happen overnight but it is the little things that I look forward too.  I look forward to eating sushi, drinking as much caffeine as I want, moving things that are heavy, and exercising.  I am most ready to meet out little guy though.  I can't wait to see him.  All of these other things seem minor compared to getting hold Rett.  I can't wait to see if he has a head full of hair which he better with the amount of heartburn I have had.  I hope it is curly.  I can't wait to see if he has the Givens' feet,  Paulhamus mouth or blue eyes...or if he is left-handed.  I am just anxious to meet him.  :)  I am even anxious for his brothers (the dogs) to meet him and see how they react.  I'm sure they will love him.  I sure hope so.  I suppose it's the unknown of it all that I am most anxious about.  My doctor is not concerned about anything right now so there is no need to be induced or schedule a c-section so we just wait and not knowing when it will happen puts me a tad on edge but we will make it through at least 2 more weeks, hopefully not longer but you never know, I hear boys are lazier when it comes to giving birth.  I sure hope not.  We will just have to wait and see.

So, until then....I will clean my house and try to be as productive as I can.  And rest some in between.  :)  Maybe the next time I post, I will have wonderful pictures of Rett :)  One can only hope.

The sitting duck,
Ashleigh

 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Thrift stores are the best :)


I am having fun decorating the house.  I don't know our style yet but I know we are poor so I have taken to thrift stores.  I was content with keeping our old couch and loveseat but I wanted new ones since we had a new house.  :)  So, while Kraig works, (since I am banned to do much in the house) I go shopping.  I found a marvelous burnt orange chair last night.
I had to have it.  Being a TN fan and all and just how vintage it looked...and it reclines which is a plus for Kraig.  So, we purchased it.  Then, today whilst waiting on the dogs at the groomer's, I went to thrifting again.  I am in the search for lamps/lighting for the living room because there is none.  I did not find any lamps/lighting but I did find a new couch with a hide-a-bed which will come in handy with all of Kraig's family coming in town this summer at different times.  I just fell in love with this one.
It's a paisley print from Ethan Allen.  Apparently, the well-to-do lady who this came from decided she wanted to buy a 1.2 million dollar condo and redo it with new Ethan Allen stuff so another person's trash can become someone's treasure.  It is rather busy for me but I think with the orange chair and the new off white loveseat I want to purchase, and maybe some solid colored pillows, I think it will tone it down just enough for us.

I just can't wait to get it in the house and have everything how I want it.  Now, for the shelving/storage for the living room.  I want crates and an old dresser.  I'll be on the lookout for those in the upcoming weeks.  :)  And baby furniture....ugh...never ends

And we need to sell our old couch....so if anyone is interested, let us know :)

Happy thrift customer :)
ashleigh

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Funeral, house, and thoughts

Now that I have had a few days to re coop and process the last few weeks and months...I can share some of the thoughts that have crossed my mind in the midst of it all and some of the lessons that I learned from family and Gran the past few weeks.

I love my family.  All of them.  My Gran had 8 kids, they had 21 grand kids and now we are working on 20 great grand kids (I hope my numbers are right).  We have a huge family.  We are all different, come from different walks of life now but as my Aunt Dodie said at the funeral, Gran has taught us to love each other and not let strife come between us.  I think we do a pretty good job of loving each other.  I loved getting to sit with my aunts and uncles many nights that we were at Gran's and listen to stories of their childhoods and about their parents.  It was a great time.  We had a very unique few weeks especially leading up to my Gran's death.  Not many people can say that they got to say good-bye to their loved one and spend quality time with their extended family.  We did and it was great.  The NORM for that past few weeks was go to work, then go to Gran's for a bit and visit with her and see the rest of the family.  Now, that it's over and most of the family have gone back to their respected homes, it is going to be way weird.  I already miss it.  I miss not being able to see them everyday.  I went to church this morning which was fine and great but I missed going to see the rest of my family after.  So, one lesson I learned...I want to be in touch with extended family more and do a better job at checking in with them.  I so enjoyed the last few weeks hanging out with them.  

I learned that "This too shall pass."  That saying, has been spoken out of Gran's mouth many times.  I have heard it a few times directed at me and many times directed at others.  :)  But this year has been a roller coaster of a year and listening to the eulogy Friday, this quote was said again and it really struck with me.  Because this year has been a heck of a year already....I can honestly heed Gran's advice and know that "this too shall pass."  Life will slow down and Kraig and I will be better people for everything we have been faced with this year.  We will figure out how to be real adults with a mortgage, we will figure out how to be youth pastors at a church that is totally different than what we are used too, we will figure out how to raise a child.  We will because we know that the Lord will help us through it and everything leading up will pass.  Thank you, Gran for again reiterating that lesson one last time.  :)

Gran is probably one of the closest family members to me that I have had pass away.  I have had other members pass but none as close as Gran.  So, this was the first time that I was at a funeral home for longer than 30 minutes and the first time that people were really coming to visit me and say their condolences.  The flowers, the cards, the kind words and the many faces that came through were so very special and sweet gestures to my family and to me.  We were overwhelmed with love and support from people.  From our jobs and allowing us to just take the time to be with family to the many stories of people that came that knew Gran.  We are so thankful for all the love and support.  But one thing I think I couldn't get out of my head was that everyone asked "How are you?"  That's perfectly fine, and I will probably always ask that question when I go to visit others in the funeral home but Thursday night, I think...a co-worker of mine came to see us.  Mind you, she just lost her mom just this year too so it was still very fresh on her heart and it meant so much to both Mom and me to see her there.  But she didn't ask how we were doing or if we needed anything...although I am sure if we called her for anything she would gladly do anything we asked but what she did ask will forever stick with me.  She asked my sister and me what Gran was like.  She wanted to know what kind of person she was.  And that is so small but it was so sweet for both Brittany and I to share Gran with someone and not talk about us and our feelings.  So, from here on out....I still will ask how the person is doing but if I don't know the person that has passed, I will ask what that person is like.  

Kraig and I did close on our house this week too!  Finally!!!  So, we have already started working on it.  We went to buy appliances yesterday to be delivered Friday.  We went and bought paint, supplies and cleaning supplies.  Kraig's brother and roommate are in town...so they mowed the lawn yesterday and although we are far from moving in...we have started to make some progress :)  But even if we do not move in before Rett gets here, this too shall pass and we will move in when the house is ready.  And on the note of Rett....he's coming sooner!  I just know it.  :)  So, be on the lookout for baby pics soon as well as home renovation pics...I'm going to try to show you some of my pinterest projects that I have in mind as we go along but they may be on the back burner compared to Baby Rett :)